I BEAT YOU
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Sleep Deprivation
I lied earlier when I said I was going to watch One Three Hill, then sleep.
One Matthew Walker distracted me, so now I have not yet done either.
And I was hoping for a really early night as last night he also kept me up.
I Hate Matt.
Night.
x.
Night.
x.
Study.
I finished my school work for the night. so before I begin to watch One Tree Hill then sleep. I took a few photos to document the moment.
I would like to share the best ones with you. :)
I would like to share the best ones with you. :)
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Chapter 2.
Dear Diary,
The moment we have been waiting for finally arrived. Jonathan has realised that I’m the only girl for him. I can’t wait for tomorrow, till we show the whole school how we feel about each other.
Our day has finally come!
- Kate.
As I arrived to school the next morning I couldn’t help but smile. This infection could not be wiped from my face. I walked into class and saw him there. A spare seat next to him. Jonathan saw me enter and rose from his chair; he stood behind the one next to him and gently pulled it from under the desk. I sat, and blushed. I could feel the whole class looking at me. All the girls wishing they were me. I was finally that girl. After all these years of being invisible, of sitting by myself, I have finally been blessed with what I have always wanted. Him.
I decided I was not going to let a boy come in between me and being valedictorian. I continued to pay immense attention in class, as usual. I blocked out all the sounds except for Mrs. Brokenshire’s voice. Biology is my favourite subject. I would often stay in the classroom at lunch and eat with Mrs. Brokenshire, but I won’t have to anymore, now that I belong. As class began to come to an end, my heart rate began to rapidly increase. Our Biology class knew, now it was time to let the whole school know about our love. The bell rang, and before I had time to pack up my books, he was there, packing them for me. I looked up at him and he smiled, then I melted into my chair, lost in his eyes once more. Once he was done with my books he pulled my chair out and lifted me from my seat. As we left the room he carried my books. We walked towards my locker, where we stopped; I turned the knob and entered my code. I put my things in my locker and then we began to walk to the courtyard. As we neared the doors he took my hand. When we entered the courtyard I felt everyone’s eyes on us. It is an unexpected relationship – but not impossible. We walked over to wear all his friends sat. They welcomed me, smiling so widely. I knew I belonged.
As the lunch came to an end he walked me to my next class, how I have always imagined he would. He gently pecked me on the cheek. This moment could not get any better. He was what I wanted, what I needed. He made my life worthwhile.
The moment we have been waiting for finally arrived. Jonathan has realised that I’m the only girl for him. I can’t wait for tomorrow, till we show the whole school how we feel about each other.
Our day has finally come!
- Kate.
As I arrived to school the next morning I couldn’t help but smile. This infection could not be wiped from my face. I walked into class and saw him there. A spare seat next to him. Jonathan saw me enter and rose from his chair; he stood behind the one next to him and gently pulled it from under the desk. I sat, and blushed. I could feel the whole class looking at me. All the girls wishing they were me. I was finally that girl. After all these years of being invisible, of sitting by myself, I have finally been blessed with what I have always wanted. Him.
I decided I was not going to let a boy come in between me and being valedictorian. I continued to pay immense attention in class, as usual. I blocked out all the sounds except for Mrs. Brokenshire’s voice. Biology is my favourite subject. I would often stay in the classroom at lunch and eat with Mrs. Brokenshire, but I won’t have to anymore, now that I belong. As class began to come to an end, my heart rate began to rapidly increase. Our Biology class knew, now it was time to let the whole school know about our love. The bell rang, and before I had time to pack up my books, he was there, packing them for me. I looked up at him and he smiled, then I melted into my chair, lost in his eyes once more. Once he was done with my books he pulled my chair out and lifted me from my seat. As we left the room he carried my books. We walked towards my locker, where we stopped; I turned the knob and entered my code. I put my things in my locker and then we began to walk to the courtyard. As we neared the doors he took my hand. When we entered the courtyard I felt everyone’s eyes on us. It is an unexpected relationship – but not impossible. We walked over to wear all his friends sat. They welcomed me, smiling so widely. I knew I belonged.
As the lunch came to an end he walked me to my next class, how I have always imagined he would. He gently pecked me on the cheek. This moment could not get any better. He was what I wanted, what I needed. He made my life worthwhile.
it's so simple.
no one would ever know.
would ever notice.
I would simply lie down in the sea of flowers.
and no-one would see me.
I could just stay there forever.
People driving past would never notice me.
I could just be.
Let the maggots and roaches do with me what they please.
My fate would be sealed.
No end of semester test.
I would let nature deal with me.
And then it would begin to rain.
And I would continue to lie here.
My tears being lost in the rain drops.
But then I would come to the realisation.
The realisation that life is for living.
I will rise from this meadow.
Walk towards the road,
and begin my long journey home.
But I will continue to be peaceful.
Beause I have seen what I could make of my life.
Chapter 1
Now, as I sit in this classroom, reminiscing on what I used to be, what I used to have, it was only for that short moment, but I finally felt like I fitted in. Now it’s all gone, turns out I was all a part of a game - a cruel, malicious game.
I’m Kate Wisenhower. I’m 16 years old and I go to Atom Hill High. I have recently been dumped. Originally I was shocked when he asked me to meet with him. I have been admiring him from a far for quite some time now. His name is Jonathan Steppler. He is basically the classic it guy - captain of the school soccer team, friends with everyone, always smiling. But he never had a girlfriend. No-one here was near good enough for him, especially not me. I mean, he has been rumored to have a million girls, but I never saw him with any. And these girls people used to speak of would never be his type, dumb, silly, blonde. He is definitely into the sophisticated, intelligent, brunette types, a lot like myself. At least, I used to wish so.
It began right where I sit now. As I was casually paying attention in English, a note flew onto my note book, I looked around as everyone continued to copy the notes on the board. I hid the note in my lap and opened it, cautious of Mr. Threppleton. I recognized the handwriting right away - it’s still the same since the poster he made in 8th grade business about the pros and cons towards sport commercialism – I almost spat out my retainer when I read what this note disclosed. Its simplicity and forwardness was dumbfounding.
Kate,
Meet me by the docks at 3
J.
I began to blush as the words that he has so sweetly written traced through my mind. Even though I had waited six years, eight months and 3 and a half weeks for this day, it still caught me by surprise.
So I did as this note said, once that bell rang 3, I raced from the room to the nearest bathroom. I applied my favourite cherry lip balm, and then headed down the hall way towards the sports fields. I began to squelch my way over the rain soaked soccer pitch to wear the note had lead me. And there he was. I was a mere 20 meters from him now. He must have heard my footsteps because he turned towards me. It was just like I had always pictured – slow motion, his gorgeous brown locks twirling in the wind. He flicked his fringe as he always does when it gets that little bit too much in his eyes. His hair has grown faster this time; it was only cut sixty-three days ago and already he is due for another trim. He is wearing his favourite jumper with his usual, worn-in skinnies and the black vans he so desperately needs to replace. But the point is he could be wearing anything and he would still look the same, for every time I’m around him, I’m lost in those blue eyes of his. Those blue sparkling eyes. I’m only 10 meters from him now. And my heart has begun to rip its way through my shirt. I look down to make sure each beat is not noticeable from the outside. Thank-fully such a thing is not possible. I’m merely 5 meters from him now and he begins to walk towards me also. He smiles. That perfect, white, straight smile he kills me with every time. And he says my name. I have longed for him to say my name with his smooth, cool, deep voice. And it is just as I have imagined a hundred times before. And as we are just 2 meters from each other now he begins to out stretch his arms, I am unsure of how to react, breathe and deal with the current situation. He puts his arms around me, and I freeze where I am, I relax into his chest. His big, muscular chest, and the feeling returns to my feet. I step back, smile and look up to his face. He is the perfect height. Six foot 3; perfectly one exact head above me. I am once again lost in his eyes. He begins to speak to me but I am unable to comprehend what he is saying to me. He sees how I am struggling and gestures towards a bench under the shady oak beside the dock. I sit. Taking up a third of the bench, then he comes and takes the third right next to mine. We are now facing each other - our faces less than 20 centimetres from each other. He puts his left hand on my lower back; his large hand lies ever so gently against my thin jumper. And with his right index finger, raises my chin. Gently, as if I’m as fragile as a small, new born child and he ever so gently rests his lips against mine. And it is just as I imagined a million times before; sweet, soft and tender. He is just as I have imagined. This moment resembling the one I dream of every night. And this ten seconds feel like ten hours, and then he gently pulls away, removes is hand from my chin, closely followed by my back. And then I sit there for a moment, my eyes closed, face tilted to the clouds and I am silent for that moment, as I document every sense of this experience. The smell of algy and moss, the sound of the school rowing team as they practise off in the distance, the feel of his hand upon my skin, the taste of his lips, and I finally open my eyes and see that blue I find warmth in.
Megan Jane
I’m Kate Wisenhower. I’m 16 years old and I go to Atom Hill High. I have recently been dumped. Originally I was shocked when he asked me to meet with him. I have been admiring him from a far for quite some time now. His name is Jonathan Steppler. He is basically the classic it guy - captain of the school soccer team, friends with everyone, always smiling. But he never had a girlfriend. No-one here was near good enough for him, especially not me. I mean, he has been rumored to have a million girls, but I never saw him with any. And these girls people used to speak of would never be his type, dumb, silly, blonde. He is definitely into the sophisticated, intelligent, brunette types, a lot like myself. At least, I used to wish so.
It began right where I sit now. As I was casually paying attention in English, a note flew onto my note book, I looked around as everyone continued to copy the notes on the board. I hid the note in my lap and opened it, cautious of Mr. Threppleton. I recognized the handwriting right away - it’s still the same since the poster he made in 8th grade business about the pros and cons towards sport commercialism – I almost spat out my retainer when I read what this note disclosed. Its simplicity and forwardness was dumbfounding.
Kate,
Meet me by the docks at 3
J.
I began to blush as the words that he has so sweetly written traced through my mind. Even though I had waited six years, eight months and 3 and a half weeks for this day, it still caught me by surprise.
So I did as this note said, once that bell rang 3, I raced from the room to the nearest bathroom. I applied my favourite cherry lip balm, and then headed down the hall way towards the sports fields. I began to squelch my way over the rain soaked soccer pitch to wear the note had lead me. And there he was. I was a mere 20 meters from him now. He must have heard my footsteps because he turned towards me. It was just like I had always pictured – slow motion, his gorgeous brown locks twirling in the wind. He flicked his fringe as he always does when it gets that little bit too much in his eyes. His hair has grown faster this time; it was only cut sixty-three days ago and already he is due for another trim. He is wearing his favourite jumper with his usual, worn-in skinnies and the black vans he so desperately needs to replace. But the point is he could be wearing anything and he would still look the same, for every time I’m around him, I’m lost in those blue eyes of his. Those blue sparkling eyes. I’m only 10 meters from him now. And my heart has begun to rip its way through my shirt. I look down to make sure each beat is not noticeable from the outside. Thank-fully such a thing is not possible. I’m merely 5 meters from him now and he begins to walk towards me also. He smiles. That perfect, white, straight smile he kills me with every time. And he says my name. I have longed for him to say my name with his smooth, cool, deep voice. And it is just as I have imagined a hundred times before. And as we are just 2 meters from each other now he begins to out stretch his arms, I am unsure of how to react, breathe and deal with the current situation. He puts his arms around me, and I freeze where I am, I relax into his chest. His big, muscular chest, and the feeling returns to my feet. I step back, smile and look up to his face. He is the perfect height. Six foot 3; perfectly one exact head above me. I am once again lost in his eyes. He begins to speak to me but I am unable to comprehend what he is saying to me. He sees how I am struggling and gestures towards a bench under the shady oak beside the dock. I sit. Taking up a third of the bench, then he comes and takes the third right next to mine. We are now facing each other - our faces less than 20 centimetres from each other. He puts his left hand on my lower back; his large hand lies ever so gently against my thin jumper. And with his right index finger, raises my chin. Gently, as if I’m as fragile as a small, new born child and he ever so gently rests his lips against mine. And it is just as I imagined a million times before; sweet, soft and tender. He is just as I have imagined. This moment resembling the one I dream of every night. And this ten seconds feel like ten hours, and then he gently pulls away, removes is hand from my chin, closely followed by my back. And then I sit there for a moment, my eyes closed, face tilted to the clouds and I am silent for that moment, as I document every sense of this experience. The smell of algy and moss, the sound of the school rowing team as they practise off in the distance, the feel of his hand upon my skin, the taste of his lips, and I finally open my eyes and see that blue I find warmth in.
Megan Jane
a familiar feeling
I had a small moment of happiness. Of peace. Of Hope.
Then he liked her, like I suspected he would.
And that hole I so successfully managed to fill began to come back.
getting bigger and bigger as the realisation sunk in.
Regret; Ugly, but fitting.
I continue to wonder.
...and as I began to drift out to sea, I wonder what it would be like.
What it would be like to just, go under.
Then I do it.
I am peaceful.
Without a care in the world.
I. Am. Happy.
But then I can't hold my breath any longer,
But I can't bring myself to stay under.
So I come back up.
Then I am no longer peaceful.
I am no longer careless of the world.
I. Am. Unhappy.
Reality, it's not all its cracked up to be.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
There's gonna be one less lonely girl.
I am a person and a woman. My thoughts are not unusual. They are all well within the scope of average human notion. I am a real person and I am alive. I am not a single emotion or a caricature and I cannot truthfully be simplified or reduced to a single dimension.
I was born a little baby and I will die an old woman. I have, now, a temporary place in this world and it shall not always be this way. I was born into a modern age in the same way that every child is born into a modern age. Every aspect of society was as new as it had ever been.
Today, I also live in a modern age in the same way that my grandparents were born and lived in a modern age and my babies will be born and die in a modern age. The present never gets old. That is one of the many reasons I like to be alive.
I live on the Earth in a house made of wood and steel and cement foundations. The exterior walls are covered with hard stucco and the insides are painted and carpeted..
I am not pregnant at this time but some day I will be pregnant and it will be a pregnancy in a modern age.
Sometimes I go to the grocery store to buy new food because I have eaten all of the old food. My skin is always regenerating, the cells regenerating. I am becoming real, all over again, every day of my life and someday it will stop and I will be a dead woman in a modern age. I will have had real thoughts and I will have been a real person.
The present is nothing like the past but they are very closely related and will forever be, I believe, locked in sequence. Beliefs are accepted as truth by the believer and I believe that we all must have an idea of the truth in order to live. As I speak these words, they are leaving my mouth and they are leaving the present. They are joining the story of the past.
My name is Megan Thomas and at the time of this statement it is my truth and I am a real person with real ideas. Someday my babies will be real and my house will collapse. Someday, every town on Earth will be a city and every building will be a skyscraper but this is not the truth at present. Someday, my ideas about the future will be a part of the past.
I was born a little baby and I will die an old woman. I have, now, a temporary place in this world and it shall not always be this way. I was born into a modern age in the same way that every child is born into a modern age. Every aspect of society was as new as it had ever been.
Today, I also live in a modern age in the same way that my grandparents were born and lived in a modern age and my babies will be born and die in a modern age. The present never gets old. That is one of the many reasons I like to be alive.
I live on the Earth in a house made of wood and steel and cement foundations. The exterior walls are covered with hard stucco and the insides are painted and carpeted..
I am not pregnant at this time but some day I will be pregnant and it will be a pregnancy in a modern age.
Sometimes I go to the grocery store to buy new food because I have eaten all of the old food. My skin is always regenerating, the cells regenerating. I am becoming real, all over again, every day of my life and someday it will stop and I will be a dead woman in a modern age. I will have had real thoughts and I will have been a real person.
The present is nothing like the past but they are very closely related and will forever be, I believe, locked in sequence. Beliefs are accepted as truth by the believer and I believe that we all must have an idea of the truth in order to live. As I speak these words, they are leaving my mouth and they are leaving the present. They are joining the story of the past.
My name is Megan Thomas and at the time of this statement it is my truth and I am a real person with real ideas. Someday my babies will be real and my house will collapse. Someday, every town on Earth will be a city and every building will be a skyscraper but this is not the truth at present. Someday, my ideas about the future will be a part of the past.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
a taste you can't resist.
A lonely boy stumbles upon a giant magical cake that, when eaten, conjures a young girl. What will happen when the cake is all gone?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1up1J0im2I
Friday, May 21, 2010
Most watched video on youtube.
I believe this is an accurate portrayal of English society.
It resembles the Love for football in the best possible light.
The creators of this video should be highly acknowledged and congratulated.
This. Is. Life.
(Click the video to see it properly)
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
The littlest things can make a big difference.
Jennie's blogs give me the inspiration to commit to the quality of perfection portrayed in every post in which she does.She gives me the feeling of utter freedom.
Something I wish to achieve with one click of a button.
Why is it that this is so easy for some.
"I want to get on this plane and fly forever.
Because once you take off,
you're neither here, nor there.
You just are."
- Tayla Lea Ericksen
- Tayla Lea Ericksen
Blogs have the ability to change a person.
People have changed me with their blogs.
It may have been only slightly,
but hopefully this little change will snowball,
and become the foundation of my existence.
I will become a different person.
Whether its now or in 50 years.
I will change.
Something, or Someone, will inspire me.
and I will follow through.
- Megan Jane
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
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