Don't give me the chance to contemplate.

I have decided, that sometimes I can be on my own, but not be alone.

For instance right now, I feel alone.

Other night when I'm in my room, I'm simply on my own.

I came home this arvo and it felt strange. It still feels strange. As if I'm not wanted or something.

My parent aren't really talking to me. Didn't ask me how my night was, how my day was.
Nothing.

So now I'm in my room - alone - because I feel like if I go downstairs I'll be an unwanted presence.

In past blogs I have said that when I'm alone I think off Des.
I thought that had all passed, but tonight I realised it's how I feel that makes me think of him.

I feel alone and unwanted, which is making me miss him.
When I feel peaceful or easy I don't cry.

Basically, I'm doing the same thing I usually wood, but it has an entirely different feeling.

You can leave me on my own.

But don't let me be alone.